I saw him at a dance club one night and thought he was super beautiful.I marched up to him, told him I thought he was cute, and from the minute we started dancing until the end of that summer when I moved abroad for school, we were inseparable.Some even take out their judgment verbally, like with Mary-Kate Olsen, 27, whose 44-year-old fiancé is dismissed as “gross,” “creepy,” “ick,” and “bizarre.” Or Joaquin Phoenix, 39, whose relationship with his 19-year-old girlfriend makes for something “disgusting,” “crazy,” and “sick.” Whether she’s 19 or 27, if a girl dates a substantially older man, most people will assume there’s something wrong, weird, or disturbing going on.
Whether a man is 15 or more years older -- or the age difference is only a few years -- negative factors may play a role in the success or failure of the relationship.
According to professionals at Two Of Us, a division of The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center, age differences are often viewed as an obstacle that prevents a mature relationship from developing.
A main disadvantage of dating an older man is the tension it may cause between you, and your family and friends.
He was really popular in the club scene, so a ton of people knew him (or at least knew of him)–but a lot of people worried about me being with him, and not just because they didn’t like me dating an older guy! He’d been married and divorced already, was a recovering alcoholic, was known to do drugs, and it was rumored he’d slept with just about every girl in town.
I knew all of this, and the truth is, that’s why I wanted to date him.